The tough(er) exam session

Hey, it is exam time again! It's just like the previous one, except for the fact that it's unbearably both hot outside and inside, you have a summer to look forward to, and you gave up giving a damn about the whole thing a long time ago. But don't worry! My team of experts and I have prepared some very useful tips on how to succeed against all odds!

1. Drink a lot of alcohol


Do you know the warm feeling you get when you drink a lot of alcohol in the winter? Well, good news! It works the other way around in the summer, giving you the cool feeling you've been looking for. Of course, you might say that you have already tried it and it didn't work. The trick is that you must drink really-really much before it starts working. We especially recommend doing this exactly before the exam. Just imagine the situation. While all your peers will barely be able to think due to the heat, you'll be cruising through the problems with ease!

Extra Tip: The stronger the drink, the better. You don't want to be tortured by your bladder 3 minutes after the exam has begun. Avoid beer, and even wine, and go for vodka or absinthe instead.

2. Cheat!


...But make sure you spend hours and hours preparing your method. Yes, you could be learning in the same time, but that's not that useful, is it? After all, nobody will ask you to do a linear programming exercise on paper, or ask you about the Phillips Curve in the real life. On the other hand cheating is a skill you will use all the time! So invest your time and effort in something useful.

Extra Information: Studies have shown that with proper preparation the risk of getting caught is lower than the typical failure rate of condoms (which is one in six times)!

3. Rely on your instincts


The scientific community has long agreed on the fact that education does great physical and psychological damage. Focusing on just one specific thing at a time for a prolonged period reduces your intellectual capacities permanently. And learning is exactly about that!

What many often tend to underestimate is the inherent power of the human mind. If under enough pressure you can figure anything out - but only if you know nothing about it at all. Actually, everything you learn right now has been invented by someone just like you who, who had a bit of free time on his hand. His advantage, compared to you, was that he knew nothing in advance, he didn't have to sit through a plethora of stupid, endless courses and seminars on the topic (because they weren't invented yet) which would then go on to kill his individual thinking capabilities. And that's method you have to use too!

Don't pollute your mind with textbooks and explanations!  Walk up to the challenge, and unleash your natural genius during the exam. Several international studies have shown that generally the ones who get the highest grades at tests often don't even know how to read and write! And it is this pureness of the mind that is the key to their success.

Finally...Don't worry


Just look around you. Most of your colleagues are fucking idiots aren't that bright, are they? A common mistake is thinking in absolute terms, trying to get a certain fixed grade or a number of points, when actually you must think in relative terms. Do you feel slightly bad because you are pretending to study, but in fact doing something completely different? Well guess what! Everyone is doing that! Hell, if you are in a management group they probably won't even bother coming to the exam. So stop worrying, and start enjoying life!

Good luck with your exams!

Dr. Eckstein Filip
Learning Expert

Some much needed motivation

Dear FSEGA first-year students!

It's sort of the middle of the exam session, and except a lucky handful you are already demotivated by the monotony of the learning-exam-learning routine or by bad results. Don't worry though, I'm here to give you the extra boost you need!

Why should you learn?

This question must have surfaced in your mind in the last few days over and over again.

If you came here without being particularly interested about economics or business, just because you had no good alternative, every day is probably worse than the one before it, as you feel that you are forced to listen to and memorize a whole bunch of data that says nothing you. It'll probably end in an existentialist crisis, you leaving this university after some time and regretting the time wasted here.

If you came here with a strong interest in everything that is supposed to be taught here, the first few weeks must have been very exciting and interesting. Coming from one of our wonderful high-schools where you've been taught a bunch of irrelevant and useless stuff, finally learning only what you are interested in must have come as a breath of fresh air. That is until...

You realized that most of what you are taught is, again, useless - lots of theories, none of them really explored enough to give it meaning and use, things that either don't function in real life, or are useless to all but a very small niche of economists.

If there was anything that truly might have been at least interesting it's been ruined by the fact that the respective teacher either doesn't really care about your personal development, or has no professional experience outside the academical circle, and thus is unable to show the real-world applications that are really important to you.

And when you look at the mess that you are supposed to learn for the next exam, you wonder..Why? Why should I get more than a passing grade? Your position on the rank list has little to no impact on your future life. The scholarship is quite minimal and awarded to very few people, the dorms are seriously overcrowded. and the studying fee... Well it's good if you don't have to pay it, but for most of you it's not a major problem if you have to.

Not to mention that getting the diploma guarantees nothing in itself, and you do get hired it'll probably be due to connections, or extra-curricular activities.

So why should you learn?

That is a question you must answer.
Good luck in your exams!

Dr. Eckstein Filip
Learning Expert

HOW TO: Improve your studying performance in 3 simple steps

1. Disconnect the Internet.

2. Close this and any other pages.

3. Start studying.

Dr. Eckstein Filip
Learning Expert

Four myths about learning

Hello! Today we will look at some widespread myths about learning, false information that can hurt your learning performance. Here we go!

1. Learning in time is better than learning just before the exam.

It is scientifically proven that the human brain deletes 36% of the stored information every day. Some key memories fade away harder - but that also means that information that the brain considers useless is deleted a lot faster. Most things you learn in school/college is considered to be useless by our brains, and therefore are subject to speedy deletion. For example, if you start learning a week earlier than the exam, by the time you are sitting with the test papers in your hand, you already have forgotten 95.5% of what you learned on the first day. On the other hand, if you try to learn everything the day before the test, you will still remember 64% of what you learned yesterday.

2. Being well-rested helps you retain information better.

Studies have shown that sleeping increases the level of the asinus magnus  hormone, which in turn decreases the portion of the brain one uses. It is a well known fact that Albert Einstein only slept 2.4 hours/day and thus managed to use up to 50% of his brain (an average person only uses 10%). The only reason why you feel that you learn harder when tired is the sheer rate of information absorption you achieve, therefore it is important that you sleep as little as possible in the weeks before your exams.

3. Talking with others (or doing anything else) reduces learning efficiency.

Did you notice how quickly it becomes tiresome to learn in a library or a silent room? It is because the lack of stimuli.  We have developed a great capacity, and also a great need to notice many things in the same time to avoid the dangers and quickly exploit the opportunities in our surroundings. Focusing on only one thing is very tiresome for our minds, and wears us out quickly. Talking to someone while studying greatly increases efficiency exactly for this reason - it gives our brain an opportunity to relax. So even if apparently conversation makes you unable to learn, in fact you will notice after a while that a talking partner will, passively, make studying a lot easier for you. The same thing applies to surfing the net, playing or watching TV while learning.

4. Loud music hinders learning efforts.

We often hear that one should listen to quiet music during studying hours. In fact, the opposite is true! Why? Our surroundings are filled with tiny noises, such as the rain outside, or someone walking next to our door. Now, in the third point we have proven that some distraction enhances learning, however having to focus in too many directions has a bad effect on learning. If we listen to really loud music, it masks all the other sounds, so our brain only has to process one type of sound. So turn the volume up, darlings!

That's all for today. I wish you successful learning, come back any time for more advice!

Dr. Eckstein Filip,

Learning Expert